A Likkle Tory a Matt (A Little Story by Matt)

De udder deh me go inna di countryside. Wan pickney cum and sell me kuk-nat and mi drink deh wata. Lata me buck up pon a man. Him seh, “Maawnin, suh! Tell meh di chuch deh?” So mi seh… “Maawnin, suh! Mi sorry mi kyaa cum wid yuh cause mi oman a likkle mad today. She seh “See! Yuh clothes pan di verandah, tek dem up an lef!” Me kyaa believe it! But anyway, yuh lookin fi go deh swet weh or di blud wator di blud wat
a de chuch?” “Mi jus a ole man, an no wanna tek no fas weh dat saps mi blud, so giv a mi deh swet way please.” “Okay, okay”, mi seh, and mi giv im dem directions deh… “Fus, go dung dere, den tek yu fus lef, guh strait dung, keep pon yuh lef til yuh reach di main roat, tun lef an guh strait up, den it pon yuh rite… gully side.”

So de ole man wen pon is weh an mi pon mine, back ome. Long di way mi top a di maakit a buy a likkle food a nyam. Mi luk is all bad, fus di han-kyaat man im run all ova me toeheads, den de lady she try sell mi won deggeh-deggeh mango fo price mi know is too fat. Dem mango fi a stone dawg! Den, a knack knee, bruck-pocket, renk lady she cus me a tekin er purs. Mi say, “Mi! A respect man like misef? You be drinkin mad puss piss!?” Crazy lady! So mi lef di maakit wid nutten, and drag mi sorry bones ome to me lady, only to seh, “Mi sorry, mi sorry.”